First of all yes, I notice the pork theme running through the last two entries. Makes me think I should be posting these on "Rocky", but I digress...
I really do have the best intentions at heart, still hoping to post something every day - but I can tell you that having a ninety-minute solo podcast every week really kicks your hopes of being prolific squarely in their prolific nuts. While I've definitely achieved the "hey, I should Twitter/post this, people might think it's funny" mindset, the "dude, if you give that up, what the fuck are you going to talk about on Wednesday?" demons tend to take over, slapping my brain into telling my thumbs "stand down, the tongue will once again do the heavy lifting this week". Yes, that was a run-on sentence. Yes, the running in that sentence is the most running I've done in a year.
Here's some behind the scenes for you: about an hour and fifteen minutes into this week's show, Lili's computer froze. This meant that the Audacity program stopped responding, which in turn meant that we couldn't save the audio that had been recorded, and would have to go back to the last saved point and start over. Fortunately, Lili had saved the audio at the one hour and five minute mark ... however, this also meant we had lost ten full minutes of the show, and I would have to go back and try to recreate the story from the point of the last save.
Now, I know nobody wants to hear me whine, but I can't tell you how difficult it is to try and recreate ten minutes of funny, hoping to hit every beat from memory. These shows aren't scripted, so when you hear a story on the show, that is the first time I'm ever telling it, with a few exceptions (Helicopter, George Arnold). Add in the fact that the ten minutes we lost included the reveal on Tess working over my toe, and - see, here's the thing...
When I say something funny, my weird brain convinces me that it's gone, and no matter how many times I say it after that it will never be as funny as it was the first time I said it. That particular brand of crazy made the prospect of retelling the Tess anecdote a daunting one, and it's also at the root of why I'm having so much trouble with standup/the one-man. Convincing myself that I can repeat something and make it funny over and over again is proving difficult. I know people are hearing it for the first time, but I'm hearing it multiple times, and I think people must be so bored of hearing the same things come out of my mouth ... but again, I recognize these people are hearing this for the first time and it doesn't matter to them. So, why can't I trust that I'll be funny every time? It's the great task ahead of me, and I'm looking forward to getting past it.
Having to climb out of my skull and redo that chunk of audio took a while, and I was so happy to just get the show finished that I left Lili's place without doing a video. I'll make up for it next week ... and by "make up for it", I of course mean "probably wind up doing the same old rambling video thing". Who the fuck am I, David Fincher? I talk, that's it.
The one-man is taking shape ... which means I've got snippets of dialogue in mind, with a few music selections in the mix as well. Still no idea of stories or running order, but as I mentioned on the show it looks like the end is set. I just need to figure out how to perform on Saturday after I close Friday's show by eating a bullet.