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How 'Bout I Stay Here And You Fight?

Thanks to everyone for commenting on the previous posts; nice to see you guys sticking to the updating thing, even if I've shirked my responsibilities. Having wandered out of my most recent candy haze, I've made small progress here and there - sticking to the vitamin regimen, eating a small breakfast when I get up, banging down fruit every day. Haven't started working out yet, but something should develop on that front soon; I have a gracious offer from a personal trainer, asking if I'd like to take sessions with him as a sort of sponsorship of the show. I mentioned this in Episode Eleven, then proceeded to question whether my mentioning it would fuck things up. Thankfully it didn't, and as soon as we can figure out a schedule that works for both of us, we're on.

Of course, the scheduling is going to be complicated, as most things with me are. My ridiculous, upside-down lifestyle doesn't exactly lend itself to hitting the park at noon; fuck, most days I don't even go to bed until noon. Trainer Guy lives like a normal human, so we have to find a happy medium between that and fucking vampire. Does it even make sense to work out, then go right to bed? That just pisses your muscles off, right? I didn't exactly pay attention in biology.

I leave you with dueling photographs. I'm somewhere in-between these two photos right now - one is where I was, one is where I want to get back to. I'll let you decide which is which.


Mike Schmidt Rocky with a Blog Image
Mike Schmidt Rocky with a Blog Image


7-8-10 weigh in, 290, total loss 11 pounds.

7-6-10 weigh in, 291, Total loss 10 pounds.

oh yeah, and extra incentive: thin Mike is really sexy soooo....

To be stuck in a routine that you want to get out of but your comfortable in is the most fucking difficult thing.
Currently: Finished doing pilates, eating breakfast of oatmeal and cherries, got to get to work. Doesn't help that work is me sitting on my ass writing articles for a paper. Boo.

I'm thinking I should buy weights and do bicep curls while my other hand types. Good idea?

6-25-10 weigh in, 294, Total loss 7 pounds.

Dear Mike:

I heard on one of your podcasts that you read Kissing Suzy Kolber. I'm not sure if you also follow Big Daddy Drew on Deadspin, but he recently made a post about his Public-Humiliation Diet. It apparently worked great for him and you seem to really dig he and the rest of the Gay Mafia. Maybe he can kick some inspiration into you. As one of the Kommentariat, I feel obligated to point you in some vague direction that may not be interesting...

Sincerely, Erin

/dick joke

I have to be honest, I've done fuck all since my last comment.

Trying not to get too bummed out. Only I can change it.

I -=WILL=- goto the gym tonight.

Hey, if you're having trouble with your sweet-tooth (which was the downfall of many a diet of mine), you should try a supplement called Chromemate ... you can find it in a few places. I go to a weight loss clinic, and it's one of the supplements they sell. Basically, the purpose of this pill that you take once in the afternoon is to balance out your sugar levels so the cravings are brought under control. It really helped me with my cravings, which aren't helped by the fact that I work some nights providing security at convenience stores that sell mostly candy and other crap that taste awesome but will fill your daily calorie allotment in about two bites.

I take one entire fuckload of supplements (prescription phentermine, fat burner, multi-vitamin, nitro, fish oil, energy booster, testosterone boosters, recovery assist, protein, amino acid) culminating in over 30 pills during the course of the day, combined with a complete life change in diet (smoothies and subway, mostly), and combo cardio (2-3 miles of jogging about 4 times a week) and weight lifting. In the past three months since I started, I dropped three pant sizes, went from xxl loose shirts to wearing xl affliction (which you know fits tighter), lost over 30 pounds of fat and gained 18 pounds of muscle. It takes a lot of getting used to, but I have to admit the phentermine and chromemate helped a lot.

Also, I don't know if you're a milk guy, but there have been a lot of articles out lately about drinking chocolate milk to assist with weight loss and workout recovery. Something about the calcium blocking fat absorption and other factors helping with muscle building and recovery. Just mentioning it because it also helps to feed a sweet craving.

Hey Mike,

I want to help as much as I can, but since I live in Michigan, and you already have a trainer, all I can do is encourage. Luckily, I was a college cheerleader; encouraging is what I'm best at. So:

Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go! Go, Mike, Go!

Hope that helps pal.


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